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 Nowadays it seems like lost testaments of jesus are turning up everywhere, and it can become really confusing to tell the true testaments from the false. In this fast paced world where people will actually lie to make a buck, we (myself and the other writers of this site) have discovered a fool proof way to determine which is the real lost testament of jesus and we offer it to you for free with the viewing of this site. By now I am sure you are bashing the bishop in anticipation, flogging the noodle to know, jerking the jerky to find out, and plain old fucking the fist just because, well, here it is, the foolproof and free I might add, way to know that this is in fact THE LOST TESTAMENT OF ONE JESUS THE CHRIST. But first, ask yourself a question: Are you pooping uncontrollably on your face right now? Well if not, you guessed it = this is the lost testament of jesus- because if it wasn’t, as the title of this page suggests, then you would be pooping on your face. Now I admit that reading any part of this web site makes me shit myself, yes it’s true. But at no point .does said shit land on before mentioned face. So in conclusion, if you’re not pooping on your face then you have no argument or basis of argument on which to base your argument. So in closure, this has to be with no doubt the one and only lost testament of before stated jesus the christ and saviour of the race called human, with the exception of jews everywhere.

Your friend and mine,
The Great Lord and Reverend, Leslie Joe Zmolik III

one true american who loves
jesus and hates satan and just
waits for the day that the god of
peace crushes satan under his foot

amen