harum-scarum
aborted fetuses – n. late, prebirthed peoples
airspace – n. – Approximately, the 1 cubic foot of space in front of the captain’s face. He would like to be informed of any activity, especially breasts and nudity occuring within this designated area. It is similar to some peoples’ “bubble.”
alcohol – n. the all-holy goodness that fills karl’s body
asian – 1. adj. of or relating to asia and its people 2. n. surgical device to keep the urethra open
asians – n. asians r us
ass – n. a vain, silly, or stupid buttock
australian accent – n. what one must use in order to say “is that right” every time someone says something
birthday -n. when one is blessed with the gift of complimentary mexican food or other such pleasurable present
bitchass – n. customary title among friends
boobies – n. boobies are squish
brainwash – v. the action that allows christianity to still be a major religion
bugs bunny logic – n. When one tries to get their way in an argument by suddenly and subtly switching sides in an “are too/are not” exchange; also when tricking someone into believing they’re getting a good deal when he/she is really being ass raped in a bargain, i.e. “I’ll tell ya what, I’ll not make you charge me for this drink if you let me take your girlfriend home for some loving.”
burgers – n. burgers are wet
buttload – n. official unit of measurement, 18% more than a shitload, 6% more than a fuckload
cancer – n. i love that joke!
captain utah – n. founder of espionage enterprises and self professed ruler of all that which exists
chadlacking – adj. a group party or organization lacking the presence of a guy named chad
chicken – n. chickens are dead
christmas – n. when one is blessed with the gift of sexual intercourse or equivalent present
condoms – n. condoms are rude
crayons – n. crayons are blue
crotchal – adj. – of or pertaining to the genitals or the genital’s airspace
donkeys – n. donkeys are big
drummers – n. drummers are gimps
fatties – n. fatties are ha
15 minute love- a heart condition induced by a very attractive female, that causes one to have amnesia about everything except her, until one forgets about her and reverts back to normal. Average time, 15 minutes, hence the time imposed name.
fluffers – n. a certain kind of “helper” that assists a certain kind of “actor” to remain in “character” during the filming of a certain kind of “movie”
fooomp – n. a toilet noise that is best produced through a hollow tube using one’s mouth to say the word fooomp! in the manner that a champagne bottle would say fooomp if given the opportunity
fruitloops – n. fruitloops are back
fuckload – n. official unit of measurement, 28% more than a shitload, 13% more than a buttload
fugged up – adj. when you haven’t had any sleep in 4 days, and your straight diet of coffee and pain killers leaves you so stupid you start dancing and jumping to touch the ceiling of denny’s
geetus – n. geetus is crap
gimp theory, the – the theory based on the observation that attractive girls almost invariably choose the most pathetically pitiful gimps, puds, and fuck ups as their boyfriends
hamsters – n. definitely the way to happiness because they’re fuzzy like peaches and you can scramble them like eggs
harum-scarum – 1. n. the official glossary for espionage enterprises 2. adj. reckless
heavy – adj. heavy is wrong
hiz azz – karl’s all so powerful ass cheeks that are set on overthrowing all that impede its way to the throne. hiz azz’s assassination attempts on karl are the reason for karl’s abdication of the throne.
jesus – n. jesus is fake
karl – n. nigga karl w blitzkreig, the last emperor, who also happens to own a couple of pure white donkeys
kiddie porn – n. absolutely completely one of the worst things one can say about anything. 42354 times worse than bullshit, i.e. “The Album ‘MC Hammer: Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em” is the biggest bunch of kiddie porn this side of the Mississippi”
kung fu – adj. the state of being so completely delirious, tired, bored, apathetic, and useless that one cannot gather enough willpower to turn of the television 3/4th’s of the way through a kung fu movie at 3:30 in the morning
lizards – n. lizards are stuck
lord zmolik -
matches – n. matches are food
monkeys – n. monkeys are free
niggaz – n. niggaz iz wild
numbers – n. numbers are two
oatmeal – n. oatmeal is cum
peaches – n. definitely not the way to happiness
playdoh – n. playdoh is butt
poopy – n. poopy is warm
red 21 – in roulette, the number on which one has to bet all of their money and left nutsack
restroom – n. i’ll take “places where weird shit always happens to lord zmolik” for $500, alex.
scritches – n. lovingly pats one gives to the rear side of a male horse so that the horse might achieve erection; see fluffers
senior year – n. – the official designation of the 1996-1997 “school year”. Every individual who happened to have this year as their senior year in high school has decided this is SENIOR YEAR, even though many people in the history of the universe have had a senior year different from this. It is the designation that must be used. The difference is “THE senior year” as opposed to “MY senior year”
shiny – n. shiny is nice
shitload – n. official unit of measurement, 37% less than a fuckload, 4% less than a buttload
tacos – n. tacos are good
“throw the bone” – phrase. what one says to an individual who is attracting shitty folks to your vicinity. you want them to wave “the bone” (which has his/her attention) in the shitty person’s face to tease him/her, then throw it so the shitty person will chase it like a retarded canine. i.e. billy is with franky and “shitty” saw franky and came up to talk. shitty is quickly wearing out his/her welcome and you urge franky to rid your area of this obcene creature by “throwing the bone” thereby ejecting the undesireable from the situation.
toilets – n. toilets are loud
tuesday – n. tuesday is now
utah – n. utah is real
utahism – n. short lived religion in the late 20th century in which followers worshipped captain utah for bearing great gifts of mexican food when he returned from a extra-brief trip which he thought would lead to christmas but was really just a birthday
zimbawean jew – n. the most oppressed person in the world especially if homosexual and/or female
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